My story


I’m Becky, Mum of three. Now, that’s something that I didn’t think I would ever be able to say.

Early Menopause had robbed me of the chance to be a Mum. Or so I thought.

This is my story of infertility, numerous IVF cycles, loss, and the path to donor egg conception. It involved a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences which, even though they were my darkest days, I now wouldn’t change for the world.

Looking back, I realise that I struggled to find any ‘real’ positive stories out there. Amongst the sometimes unhelpful, misinformed advice on the forums, someone I had never met became my main support, confidant and friend throughout the difficult journey. I honestly don’t believe I would be where I am today without her. With that in mind, I feel compelled to share my story in the hope that I can be that inspiration and support to others.

I have split my blog into two sections covering both past and present:

  • Chasing Motherhood is about the past and is a chapter by chapter story of the ups and downs of infertility and becoming a Mum
  •  Defining Mum is all about the present – my reflections and thoughts as a Mum.

I wanted to split the blog into two sections to allow those that are still in the difficult stage of infertility to choose to opt in or out of reading about the ‘Mum stuff’, I know how hard some of it can be to read on those bad days. Just remember that you are not alone.

So, why did I call the blog ‘Defining Mum’?

One of the most difficult questions I had to answer for myself when making the decision to move to donor eggs is ‘What makes a Mum?’. My 27-year-old unknowing self would have probably said that DNA is a big part of being a Mum. How wrong I was. I have learnt that there is so much more than genetics in being a Mum and I hope that I can bring this to life in my story of my immeasurable love for my three girls. My path towards becoming a Mum has not only defined me as a person and a Mum, it has made me who I am today and given me purpose to help others who may feel the initial hopelessness that I once felt. If I can help just one person feeling the helplessness that I once felt then I will be one happy Mummy!

Love, Becky x