Hi, I’m Becky
I’m a mum to three girls all thanks to egg donation. ‘Mum’ is a word I feared I’d never get the chance to use to describe myself, a diagnosis of Premature Ovarian Insufficiency led to a long fertility journey including many failed IVF cycles and miscarriage before we made the momentous decision to build our family using an egg donor.
I remember feeling very alone and confused, with no-one who truly understood to talk to about my many fears for the future and it’s unknowns, which is why I’ve created this space. I began simply by sharing my story but it has become so much more, through this blog and my Instagram community I’m on a mission to raise awareness of the challenges of infertility as well as donor conception as an alternative path to parenthood. My platform is designed to validate your feelings, encourage sharing, offer support and information whilst making important connections so that you don’t have to experience this alone.
I’m soon launching an extension to my platform which will be a safe virtual hub for those making the decision to use a donor, those who are already on this path to parenthood and those who are already parenting after using a donor. This decision isn’t just a decision for now, it’s one that will inevitably form not only part of our family building story, but also our children’s stories of how they came to be.
I’m Becky, an incredibly grateful 34 year old donor egg IVF mum to three beautiful girls. I live in the UK with my husband Matt as well as Mila, aged 3 and twins Eska and Lena, aged 2. Before becoming a mum I was a HR Professional, working in numerous people focused roles across a number of well-known organisations. After having our twins I made the decision to leave my career and focus on raising them, whilst starting to build on my passion to support others who were in the same place that I’d once been.
At the end of 2018 my best friend kindly built me a blog site to allow me to start sharing our story, which is when DefiningMum was born. I use the name ‘DefiningMum’ because this whole journey allowed me to redefine what it really means to be a mum. It allowed me to realise that mothering is an act, an intention and what we do every single day, it isn’t solely defined by sharing genetics. I feel grateful and honoured to have made so many connections just through sharing my reflections, learnings and parenting journey and hope to make many more.
I also still wear my HR hat, as a co-founder of Fertility Matters At Work, another passion of mine. This initiative is designed to raise awareness of the challenges faced when dealing with fertility struggles in the workplace, whilst educating employers on how they can best support their employees.