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I’m Becky, an incredibly grateful 34 year old donor egg IVF mum to three beautiful girls. I live in the UK with my husband Matt as well as Mila, aged 3 and twins Eska and Lena, aged 2.

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Healthline Infertility Best Blogs 2020
It's been a busy year so far with so much going on It's been a busy year so far with so much going on in the background & lots more of you following me here at DefiningMum - thank you! I wanted to take a moment to reintroduce myself, to share my new @definingmum logo & to tease an announcement coming next week which I'm VERY excited about! So, I'm Becky and I wouldn't be a mum today if it wasn't for egg donation. I'm now incredibly grateful to have three amazing girls after an early menopause diagnosis in my 20's and a difficult journey to have them. I share both my fertility and parenting journey - both of which have been and still are shaped by donor conception. I want those who are on this path to parenthood to feel less alone, better understood, more aware of the many facets of donor conception and how we can navigate this throughout our journey to conceive and parenthood. I want to raise awareness of what can be a beautiful path to parenthood, whilst trying to break down the taboos, shame & stigma that can be attached to it. If you haven't found it yet, my blog (linked in bio) has lots of my own writing & guest blogs featuring stories of donor conception, fertility struggles, loss & early menopause, designed as a collective way to raise awareness through story sharing. There are also links here to podcasts, articles & webinars that I've been lucky to be a part of. I'm also working on some more free resources this year with some of the incredible speakers I'm so grateful to have connected with. Last year I took a big leap of faith & (after Covid scuppered my event plans) I created & launched @paths_to_parenthub as a dedicated interactive membership platform for those needing to use a donor to conceive, at whatever stage you are at. There's lots of information within the webinars, resources, personal stories & a brilliant community in a private space to find support & connection with others too. On Tues 9th March I'll be announcing a big & very exciting development with @Paths_to_Parenthub, followed by more info about the content I've been curating for the rest of this year. Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me to make this what it is today, something I never even dreamed it could be! 💛
INSTA TAKEOVER tomorrow! I'm delighted to be welco INSTA TAKEOVER tomorrow! I'm delighted to be welcoming Tia and Lee @the.browns.journey.to.three, a couple on their path to parenthood using egg donation. It's going to be great to hear from both perspectives within a couple as together they'll be sharing their story so far and answering your questions throughout the day. Here's a little introduction to them: "Hi, we are Tia & Lee, we have been married for coming up to three years next month and have been trying to conceive our first child ever since. 18 months later I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Insufficiency. We started our first round of IVF one month after the diagnosis. Within 11 months we had undergone 3 rounds of IVF with not one transfer. Our first 2 rounds of IVF resulted in no embryos to transfer & our third round my ovaries had stopped responding & no follicles were present so treatment was cancelled. We are now at the start of our Egg Donor IVF treatment, under a new clinic in Greece. We are an open book so please feel free to ask us anything!" Huge thank you to Tia and Lee for offering to share their story tomorrow - check out my stories in the morning to hear more from them. #donoreggs #donorconception #deivf #pof #deivfjourney #infertilityjourney #instatakeover #donoreggivf #pathstoparenthood #definingmum
The best birthday morning spent exploring our loca The best birthday morning spent exploring our local National Trust @beltonhousent with everything I could ever want on my birthday 💛💛💛 Feeling especially grateful today being able to make the most out of a lockdown birthday and enjoy the gorgeous spring sunshine. I actually wouldn’t change a thing about today! Double celebrations continue tomorrow with the 3rd birthdays of Eska & Lena. Three years ago they almost shared mine! I hope you’re all able to get outside and bask in some spring sun today, it’s definitely good for the soul. ☀️ #lockdownbirthday #grateful #deivfmama
Today I'm sharing Hayley's story @prematuremenopau Today I'm sharing Hayley's story @prematuremenopause14 on my blog (link in bio), a story of early menopause diagnosis at the age of 14 with sadly a real lack of support, empathy and understanding, but leading to a hopeful beginning as she embarks on a path to parenthood through adoption. I want to say a huge thank you to Hayley for so bravely sharing her story with us. Having experienced an early menopause diagnosis myself at the age of 28, I just can't imagine how difficult this news must have been to process at such a young age with such little support. I couldn't agree more with Hayley that awareness needs to be raised - that menopause isn't just something that impacts women later on in life, it can happen at a much younger age and, with the stigma that often comes alongside, it can have an even greater impact on day to day life and mental health for the individual. As Hayley's story suggests, it's not just in society where awareness needs to be raised, but particularly within the medical professional community itself. I personally was misdiagnosed at first and treated with such a lack of empathy from my GP, who didn't even seem to know that it was a 'thing'. Even to this day I still get comments like "you're far too young for HRT" from medical professionals who haven't understood and read their notes. That's why I'm delighted to be able to share stories like this on my platform, to show why it's so important for us to talk about these subjects. It's also why the work that charities like @TheDaisyNetwork are doing is so important in breaking down the stigma, sharing these voices and ensuring that no-one else has to go through this diagnosis alone. I'd love to hear your thoughts, please do share your experiences and comments for Hayley below. #prematuremenopause #poi #pof #earlymenopause #prematureovarianfailure #youarenotalone #breakthesilence #adoption #infertility #infertilityjourney #definingmum #pathstoparenthood
In the beginning donor conception can feel like a In the beginning donor conception can feel like a huge elephant in the room; whether you're making the decision, going through treatment or even pregnant & early parenting. I know my worries centred around questions such as... what would my child look like, would we bond, would we always be thinking about the donor, would they want to look for the donor one day & in doing so replace my role as mum? All of these fears have now disappeared, some faded the moment I met our girls and others have shifted over time. It got me thinking about why we become so worried & focus so much on these fears in the early days especially. I believe it's because at that point everything is still so unknown. In fact, donor conception is one of the only certain things you know about them at that time. You have no idea what or who they're going to look like & you don't know how you're going to feel in the parental role, which incidentally is also the case for any new parent. What you do know is that half of their genetics come from a donor & so it's perfectly natural to focus on this part. I think it's common for us to hang many of our worries & concerns on them being donor conceived, even if they're worries we'd be having anyway if it were a natural conception. Although some of these concerns disappeared instantly, some did remain for me, especially in some of the early newborn days with the focus of comments centering around who they most resembled, which I think people tend to focus on because babies don't really do much else! It's as they've grown that the donor conception 'fact' has blended in with all of the other facts that we now know about them - their quirks, likes, dislikes, mannerisms, humour, more distinctive features. It becomes clearer as they grow that being donor conceived is a part of them, but not all of them. What I'm trying to say is that, whilst it can feel huge at the beginning, it could be because it is one of the only certain things you know about your future child. I'm not saying you should ignore your fears, but I hope to offer some reflection & perspective to why they may be there. Continued in comments...
I know that for those of you facing infertility, t I know that for those of you facing infertility, the magnitude of emotions can be overwhelming and at the same time so misunderstood. At the time of my own fertility struggles I found it hard to verbalise and put into words to explain just how much this invisible loss was consuming me. I used to question whether I was overreacting for feeling as deeply as I did. Reflecting back now, I can put it into words. I believe these words express the real depth and breadth of the impact and how it felt for me personally. It's so important for us to validate our feelings, be kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to find the support and connection that we need. That's why I share this, to help others who may be feeling this way, but also to reach others who are luckily not having to face this experience, to educate them about what it can feel like, so that more empathy can hopefully be shown. Please feel free to share if you'd like. Every experience is individual but I so often hear commonality in thought and emotion within this community. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts - does this resonate with you? Is there anything you'd add or change based on your own experiences? #infertility #ivf #ttc #ttccommunity #infertilityis #ttcsisters #infertilityjourney #fertilityjourney #ivfjourney #ivfsupport #fertilitysupport #secondaryinfertility #donorconception #donoreggs #pof #youarenotalone #infertilitygrief #bekindtoyourself
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