I've been asked many times about how my husband, Matt, felt about the decision to use an egg donor and how he himself came around to the idea. Not being in a position to answer this myself and not...
Categories
Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Mila and I finally had the opportunity to read our new book Happy Together Childrens Book - a story about egg donation, kindly gifted to my girls. I actually started talking to her occasionally as a...
Unexpected questions
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
As you know, we'll always be open with the girls about their conception - they'll never know any different. It's only now that Mila is three and a complete chatterbox, that we can actually talk...
Conception Gratitude
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Jana Rupnow has, yet again, sparked realisation in me! This relates to Jana’s post on ‘Conception Gratitude’. It’s something I want to share and bring to life from the viewpoint of the parent. Jana...
Defining Motherhood
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Recently I’ve been talking about how I came to make the decision to use donor eggs. I realised that the biggest step-change in my decision-making happened when I asked myself a simple question –...
Holding two places
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, especially since Jana Rupnow and I talked about it in a recent episode of Three Makes Baby podcast - click here to listen. It was another...
Love isn’t genetically programmed
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
I’m sharing because I believe sometimes we can overthink this, particularly when it comes to fears around bonding before we have our children. Think about all of the people you love in your life...
“Empathy comes from being empathised with”
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
One of the most important skills I've always wanted my children to have is empathy. Above anything else I believe it is so important to have the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes,...
Likeness to Daddy
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
This picture popped up on my memories today from 3 years ago. Mila at almost 6 months old (those chubby cheeks 🥰) and Matt at a similar age. They're the same baby, right?! I still can't believe how...
The significance of small-talk
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
As I've been busy planning my DefiningMum event (announcement coming soon!) I've been thinking a lot about the different fears and challenges that we inevitably face as parents who don't share...
“Just like Mummy”
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
I plan to be very open with Mila, Eska and Lena about how they were conceived using an egg donor. We don't share genetics but despite this, we are still very similar in so many ways - all because of...
Did she get her curls from the mum?
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
“Did she get her curls from the Mum?” Ouch. This is one comment I’ve had in relation to donor conception that really hit a nerve. It’s actually been said twice, once to Matt from someone I’ve never...
Society’s focus on family resemblances
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Society tends to focus on appearances when it comes to family. Naturally we are drawn to search for similarities, especially when it comes to babies. My husband thinks all babies look the same, but...
Facing fears relating to donor conception
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Many on Instagram have engaged with my posts about fears - thank you for confirming that I'm not alone! These fears are important to acknowledge & I believe talking about them can better equip...
Finding out we’d need to use a donor
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
I still remember exactly where I was, what the weather was like, even what I was wearing when I first heard the 'D' word. By 'D' word I mean 'Donor'. It was so life-altering for me that the memory...
Sharon’s Story – Egg Donation
by Defining Mum | Jan 13, 2020
I’m not sure if I differ from any other donor egg recipient mums. The wrong side of 35 (I put my career first) my husband and I started trying for a baby and assumed we’d get pregnant naturally....
Do I Regret Not Trying Again With My Own Eggs?
by Defining Mum | Jun 16, 2019
Regret - Feeling sad, repentant or disappointed over something one has done or failed to do. I’m asked often if I regret not trying again with my own eggs. I can honestly say that I don’t feel one...
Redefining my vision of a Mum…
by Defining Mum | May 10, 2019
It wasn’t a simple choice based on odds alone, it was a complex emotional decision that took time. I realise now that one blocker for me was worrying about what others might think – the main worry...
Want to learn more about fertility stories and donor conception?
Sign up and join other subscribers and get more stories sent straight to your inbox. You’ll also receive helpful emails and the occasional marketing message from DefiningMum.com – you can unsubscribe at any time.
Categories
I’m Becky, an incredibly grateful 34 year old donor egg IVF mum to three beautiful girls. I live in the UK with my husband Matt as well as Mila, aged 3 and twins Eska and Lena, aged 2.
