If you’re reading this blog post as someone wishing to support a loved one who is (or has) needed to use a donor to grow their family – thank you. Thank you for taking the time to better understand...
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One Step at a Time
by Defining Mum | May 15, 2020
Guest Blog - By Lilly Ibiza 2016. My husband and I were there for a week having decided the party capital of the world was the best change of scene from three years of trying for a baby and two...
Don’t let infertility rob you anymore…
by Defining Mum | May 8, 2020
Guest Blog - By Cat As I sat on the edge of my bed, after just finishing another sobbing session in the shower....I looked in the mirror and saw a familiar sight. My eyes were all red, my face wet...
Anonymity reflections…
by Defining Mum | May 7, 2020
This blog post has been on my mind for a while now, almost a year in fact. For those who didn’t follow me a year ago, I posted about the decision within our story which involved us using an...
Do I ever wonder ‘what if’?
by Defining Mum | May 5, 2020
I've been thinking about this post for a while, trying to put it into words. I've been asked many times if I ever look back & wonder "what if" or have any regrets about stopping IVF treatment...
Deciding to use an egg donor – the male perspective
by Defining Mum | Mar 10, 2020
I've been asked many times about how my husband, Matt, felt about the decision to use an egg donor and how he himself came around to the idea. Not being in a position to answer this myself and not...
Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Mila and I finally had the opportunity to read our new book Happy Together Childrens Book - a story about egg donation, kindly gifted to my girls. I actually started talking to her occasionally as a...
Unexpected questions
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
As you know, we'll always be open with the girls about their conception - they'll never know any different. It's only now that Mila is three and a complete chatterbox, that we can actually talk...
Conception Gratitude
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Jana Rupnow has, yet again, sparked realisation in me! This relates to Jana’s post on ‘Conception Gratitude’. It’s something I want to share and bring to life from the viewpoint of the parent. Jana...
Defining Motherhood
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Recently I’ve been talking about how I came to make the decision to use donor eggs. I realised that the biggest step-change in my decision-making happened when I asked myself a simple question –...
Holding two places
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, especially since Jana Rupnow and I talked about it in a recent episode of Three Makes Baby podcast - click here to listen. It was another...
Love isn’t genetically programmed
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
I’m sharing because I believe sometimes we can overthink this, particularly when it comes to fears around bonding before we have our children. Think about all of the people you love in your life...
“Empathy comes from being empathised with”
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
One of the most important skills I've always wanted my children to have is empathy. Above anything else I believe it is so important to have the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes,...
Likeness to Daddy
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
This picture popped up on my memories today from 3 years ago. Mila at almost 6 months old (those chubby cheeks 🥰) and Matt at a similar age. They're the same baby, right?! I still can't believe how...
The significance of small-talk
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
As I've been busy planning my DefiningMum event (announcement coming soon!) I've been thinking a lot about the different fears and challenges that we inevitably face as parents who don't share...
“Just like Mummy”
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
I plan to be very open with Mila, Eska and Lena about how they were conceived using an egg donor. We don't share genetics but despite this, we are still very similar in so many ways - all because of...
Did she get her curls from the mum?
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
“Did she get her curls from the Mum?” Ouch. This is one comment I’ve had in relation to donor conception that really hit a nerve. It’s actually been said twice, once to Matt from someone I’ve never...
Society’s focus on family resemblances
by Defining Mum | Feb 1, 2020
Society tends to focus on appearances when it comes to family. Naturally we are drawn to search for similarities, especially when it comes to babies. My husband thinks all babies look the same, but...
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I’m Becky, an incredibly grateful 34 year old donor egg IVF mum to three beautiful girls. I live in the UK with my husband Matt as well as Mila, aged 3 and twins Eska and Lena, aged 2.
