My Blog
Welcome to my blog! A place where I share our story in more detail with reflections from our fertility journey and beyond, now that I’m a thankful Mum to our donor conceived girls. I believe it’s so important to talk about the often hidden emotions, frustrations and fears involved in making this decision as a way to show others that they’re not alone.
If you’d like to read my story in a nutshell – here it is.
Don’t forget to check out my guest blog for different perspectives of fertility stories and donor conception.
Fertility Blog Posts
The Uncertainty of Infertility
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
I recently saw heard someone say “infertility robs us of the long-term view”. Planning anything during fertility struggles becomes near on...
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How to best support someone facing infertility
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
Not all journeys to motherhood are easy. It can be a long, difficult & traumatic path for as many as...
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Getting pregnant isn’t a skill
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
Getting pregnant isn’t a skill. It isn’t a talent that some people are better at than others. It’s simply the...
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Breaking The Silence – Dealing With Fertility Struggles Whilst At Work
By definingmum2 / October 28, 2019
With the majority of those experiencing fertility struggles being actively employed, how is there so much silence about these issues...
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#CryingShame – Fertility Network UK Campaign
By definingmum2 / August 23, 2019
It’s a #CryingShame that those experiencing infertility often feel they need to hide their pain and ‘put on a brave...
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IVF is NOT simply a choice
By definingmum2 / June 25, 2019
I’ve had a bee in my bonnet recently, ever since reading some highly insensitive, misinformed comments. The first in response...
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Infertility Grief IS real
By definingmum2 / May 16, 2019
Infertility grief IS real. It wasn't until I listened to @janarupnowlpc that I truly acknowledged this - it validated everything I’d...
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A message for Mums-in-the-making on Mothers Day
By definingmum2 / March 30, 2019
I understand just how hard Mother’s Day is; without a doubt it’s one of the most difficult times of the...
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The Personal Impact of Fertility in the Workplace – My Story
By definingmum2 / February 13, 2019
Dealing with fertility struggles whilst trying to maintain a career is one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced....
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Don’t Assume!
By definingmum2 / January 25, 2019
We are all guilty of making assumptions, imagining that something is happening or going to happen without any proof whatsoever....
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Do Twins Run in the Family? Starting Conversations…
By definingmum2 / January 25, 2019
Last week I sat in the Doctors waiting room with Eska and Lena. I had the usual comment of “Ooh,...
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The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – Your Right to Reply
By definingmum2 / January 3, 2019
It’s a vicious cycle– nobody talks about infertility and so you worry about people’s reactions, and because you think that...
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At Least You…
By definingmum2 / December 6, 2018
It’s that phrase that I think most of us have heard at some point during the infertility journey. ‘At least...
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My Story Chapter 5 – Testing My Resolve
By definingmum2 / December 6, 2018
After embryo transfer the wait to find out whether it had worked was torture, it was all I could think...
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The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – ‘The Only One’ Or ‘One Of Many’?
By definingmum2 / December 2, 2018
It’s a vicious cycle – nobody talks about infertility and so you feel like you’re the only person in the world...
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The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – Feeling like a failure
By definingmum2 / November 27, 2018
I recently explored why I believe it’s good to talk about infertility, but this didn’t address the reasons why we’re afraid...
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My ‘Post Infertility Guilt’ Thanksgiving
By definingmum2 / November 22, 2018
Since I launched the blog at the start of the month, I haven’t written or updated 'Defining Mum' as often...
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My Story Chapter 4 – IVF… Cycling Without Stabilisers
By definingmum2 / November 18, 2018
The arrival of the drugs along with the associated needles, syringes, vial snappers and sharps bins was particularly overwhelming. The...
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My Story Chapter 3 – Exciting New Starts (Whilst Avoiding False Starts)
By definingmum2 / November 14, 2018
It happened so quickly, I didn’t have a second to think about what lay ahead. Yes, a slightly alternate method...
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Why it’s good to talk about infertility
By definingmum2 / November 8, 2018
Hi, I’ve always been a big advocate of talking things through, whatever the issue. I was no different when it...
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My Story Chapter 1 – Expecting to be expecting…
By definingmum2 / November 1, 2018
Call me naïve, but at the age of 27 I felt like I was in the prime position to start...
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My Story Chapter 2 – Niggles, Negatives and Negligence…
By definingmum2 / November 1, 2018
It started as a little niggle. Something just wasn’t quite right. My periods were irregular whilst at the same time...
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Donor Conception Blog Posts
Deciding to use an egg donor – the male perspective
By definingmum2 / March 10, 2020
I've been asked many times about how my husband, Matt, felt about the decision to use an egg donor and...
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Event – DefiningMum presents…
By definingmum2 / February 6, 2020
Donor Decisions and Beyond I am beyond excited to announce the reality of what has been my vision for the...
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Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
Mila and I finally had the opportunity to read our new book Happy Together Childrens Book - a story about egg...
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Unexpected questions
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
As you know, we'll always be open with the girls about their conception - they'll never know any different. It's...
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Conception Gratitude
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
Jana Rupnow has, yet again, sparked realisation in me! This relates to Jana’s post on ‘Conception Gratitude’. It’s something I...
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Defining Motherhood
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
Recently I’ve been talking about how I came to make the decision to use donor eggs. I realised that the...
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Holding two places
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, especially since Jana Rupnow and I talked about it in...
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Love isn’t genetically programmed
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
I’m sharing because I believe sometimes we can overthink this, particularly when it comes to fears around bonding before we have...
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“Empathy comes from being empathised with”
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
One of the most important skills I've always wanted my children to have is empathy. Above anything else I believe...
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Likeness to Daddy
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
This picture popped up on my memories today from 3 years ago. Mila at almost 6 months old (those chubby...
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The significance of small-talk
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
As I've been busy planning my DefiningMum event (announcement coming soon!) I've been thinking a lot about the different fears...
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“Just like Mummy”
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
I plan to be very open with Mila, Eska and Lena about how they were conceived using an egg donor....
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Did she get her curls from the mum?
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
“Did she get her curls from the Mum?” Ouch. This is one comment I’ve had in relation to donor conception...
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Society’s focus on family resemblances
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
Society tends to focus on appearances when it comes to family. Naturally we are drawn to search for similarities, especially...
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Facing fears relating to donor conception
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
Many on Instagram have engaged with my posts about fears - thank you for confirming that I'm not alone! These...
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Finding out we’d need to use a donor
By definingmum2 / February 1, 2020
I still remember exactly where I was, what the weather was like, even what I was wearing when I first...
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Do I Regret Not Trying Again With My Own Eggs?
By definingmum2 / June 16, 2019
Regret - Feeling sad, repentant or disappointed over something one has done or failed to do. I’m asked often if...
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Redefining my vision of a Mum…
By definingmum2 / May 10, 2019
It wasn’t a simple choice based on odds alone, it was a complex emotional decision that took time. I realise...
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Recognising the odds were stacked against us…
By definingmum2 / May 9, 2019
Throughout our infertility journey I was completely emotion-led, to the point where all rational thinking went out of the window....
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How did I know when it was time to use a donor?
By definingmum2 / May 7, 2019
This is probably the most common question I get asked and definitely the most difficult to answer! It’s a complex...
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Epigenetics
By definingmum2 / March 14, 2019
I’m by no means a scientific person, I’m much more interested and motivated by the ‘fluffy stuff’ – feelings and...
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Mummy Rabbit
By definingmum2 / January 25, 2019
This is ‘Mummy Rabbit’ – Mila’s favourite thing in the world, she goes everywhere with her, sleeps with her and...
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My Story Chapter 5 – Testing My Resolve
By definingmum2 / December 6, 2018
After embryo transfer the wait to find out whether it had worked was torture, it was all I could think...
Read More
My Story Chapter 4 – IVF… Cycling Without Stabilisers
By definingmum2 / November 18, 2018
The arrival of the drugs along with the associated needles, syringes, vial snappers and sharps bins was particularly overwhelming. The...
Read More
My Story Chapter 3 – Exciting New Starts (Whilst Avoiding False Starts)
By definingmum2 / November 14, 2018
It happened so quickly, I didn’t have a second to think about what lay ahead. Yes, a slightly alternate method...
Read More
My Story Chapter 1 – Expecting to be expecting…
By definingmum2 / November 1, 2018
Call me naïve, but at the age of 27 I felt like I was in the prime position to start...
Read More
My Story Chapter 2 – Niggles, Negatives and Negligence…
By definingmum2 / November 1, 2018
It started as a little niggle. Something just wasn’t quite right. My periods were irregular whilst at the same time...
Read More
All General Fertility Blog Posts
- The Uncertainty of Infertility
- How to best support someone facing infertility
- Getting pregnant isn’t a skill
- Breaking The Silence – Dealing With Fertility Struggles Whilst At Work
- #CryingShame – Fertility Network UK Campaign
- IVF is NOT simply a choice
- Infertility Grief IS real
- A message for Mums-in-the-making on Mothers Day
- The Personal Impact of Fertility in the Workplace – My Story
- Don’t Assume!
All Donor Conception Blog Posts
- Deciding to use an egg donor – the male perspective
- Event – DefiningMum presents…
- Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception
- Unexpected questions
- Conception Gratitude
- Defining Motherhood
- Holding two places
- Love isn’t genetically programmed
- “Empathy comes from being empathised with”
- Likeness to Daddy