My Blog

My Blog

 


Welcome to my blog! A place where I share our story in more detail with reflections from our fertility journey and beyond, now that I’m a thankful Mum to our donor conceived girls. I believe it’s so important to talk about the often hidden emotions, frustrations and fears involved in making this decision as a way to show others that they’re not alone.

If you’d like to read my story in a nutshell – here it is.

Don’t forget to check out my guest blog for different perspectives of fertility stories and donor conception.


Fertility Blog Posts

The Uncertainty of Infertility

I recently saw heard someone say “infertility robs us of the long-term view”. Planning anything during fertility struggles becomes near on...
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The Uncertainty of Infertility

How to best support someone facing infertility

Not all journeys to motherhood are easy. It can be a long, difficult & traumatic path for as many as...
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How to best support someone facing infertility

Getting pregnant isn’t a skill

Getting pregnant isn’t a skill. It isn’t a talent that some people are better at than others. It’s simply the...
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Getting pregnant isn’t a skill

Breaking The Silence – Dealing With Fertility Struggles Whilst At Work

With the majority of those experiencing fertility struggles being actively employed, how is there so much silence about these issues...
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Breaking The Silence – Dealing With Fertility Struggles Whilst At Work

#CryingShame – Fertility Network UK Campaign

It’s a #CryingShame that those experiencing infertility often feel they need to hide their pain and ‘put on a brave...
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#CryingShame – Fertility Network UK Campaign

IVF is NOT simply a choice

I’ve had a bee in my bonnet recently, ever since reading some highly insensitive, misinformed comments. The first in response...
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IVF is NOT simply a choice

Infertility Grief IS real

Infertility grief IS real. It wasn't until I listened to @janarupnowlpc that I truly acknowledged this - it validated everything I’d...
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Infertility Grief IS real

A message for Mums-in-the-making on Mothers Day

I understand just how hard Mother’s Day is; without a doubt it’s one of the most difficult times of the...
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A message for Mums-in-the-making on Mothers Day

The Personal Impact of Fertility in the Workplace – My Story

Dealing with fertility struggles whilst trying to maintain a career is one of the biggest challenges I have ever faced....
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The Personal Impact of Fertility in the Workplace – My Story

Don’t Assume!

We are all guilty of making assumptions, imagining that something is happening or going to happen without any proof whatsoever....
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Don’t Assume!

Do Twins Run in the Family? Starting Conversations…

Last week I sat in the Doctors waiting room with Eska and Lena. I had the usual comment of “Ooh,...
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Do Twins Run in the Family? Starting Conversations…

The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – Your Right to Reply

It’s a vicious cycle– nobody talks about infertility and so you worry about people’s reactions, and because you think that...
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The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – Your Right to Reply

At Least You…

It’s that phrase that I think most of us have heard at some point during the infertility journey. ‘At least...
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At Least You…

My Story Chapter 5 – Testing My Resolve

After embryo transfer the wait to find out whether it had worked was torture, it was all I could think...
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My Story Chapter 5 – Testing My Resolve

The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – ‘The Only One’ Or ‘One Of Many’?

It’s a vicious cycle – nobody talks about infertility and so you feel like you’re the only person in the world...
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The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – ‘The Only One’ Or ‘One Of Many’?

The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – Feeling like a failure

I recently explored why I believe it’s good to talk about infertility, but this didn’t address the reasons why we’re afraid...
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The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – Feeling like a failure

My ‘Post Infertility Guilt’ Thanksgiving

Since I launched the blog at the start of the month, I haven’t written or updated 'Defining Mum' as often...
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My ‘Post Infertility Guilt’ Thanksgiving

My Story Chapter 4 – IVF… Cycling Without Stabilisers

The arrival of the drugs along with the associated needles, syringes, vial snappers and sharps bins was particularly overwhelming. The...
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My Story Chapter 4 – IVF… Cycling Without Stabilisers

My Story Chapter 3 – Exciting New Starts (Whilst Avoiding False Starts)

It happened so quickly, I didn’t have a second to think about what lay ahead. Yes, a slightly alternate method...
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My Story Chapter 3 – Exciting New Starts (Whilst Avoiding False Starts)

Why it’s good to talk about infertility

Hi, I’ve always been a big advocate of talking things through, whatever the issue. I was no different when it...
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Why it’s good to talk about infertility

My Story Chapter 1 – Expecting to be expecting…

Call me naïve, but at the age of 27 I felt like I was in the prime position to start...
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My Story Chapter 1 – Expecting to be expecting…

My Story Chapter 2 – Niggles, Negatives and Negligence…

It started as a little niggle. Something just wasn’t quite right. My periods were irregular whilst at the same time...
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My Story Chapter 2 – Niggles, Negatives and Negligence…

Donor Conception Blog Posts

Event – DefiningMum presents…

Donor Decisions and Beyond I am beyond excited to announce the reality of what has been my vision for the...
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Event – DefiningMum presents…

Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception

Mila and I finally had the opportunity to read our new book Happy Together Childrens Book - a story about egg...
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Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception

Unexpected questions

As you know, we'll always be open with the girls about their conception - they'll never know any different. It's...
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Unexpected questions

Conception Gratitude

Jana Rupnow has, yet again, sparked realisation in me! This relates to Jana’s post on ‘Conception Gratitude’. It’s something I...
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Conception Gratitude

Defining Motherhood

Recently I’ve been talking about how I came to make the decision to use donor eggs. I realised that the...
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Defining Motherhood

Holding two places

I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, especially since Jana Rupnow and I talked about it in...
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Holding two places

Love isn’t genetically programmed

I’m sharing because I believe sometimes we can overthink this, particularly when it comes to fears around bonding before we have...
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Love isn’t genetically programmed

“Empathy comes from being empathised with”

One of the most important skills I've always wanted my children to have is empathy. Above anything else I believe...
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“Empathy comes from being empathised with”

Likeness to Daddy

This picture popped up on my memories today from 3 years ago. Mila at almost 6 months old (those chubby...
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Likeness to Daddy

The significance of small-talk

As I've been busy planning my DefiningMum event (announcement coming soon!) I've been thinking a lot about the different fears...
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The significance of small-talk

“Just like Mummy”

I plan to be very open with Mila, Eska and Lena about how they were conceived using an egg donor....
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“Just like Mummy”

Did she get her curls from the mum?

“Did she get her curls from the Mum?” Ouch. This is one comment I’ve had in relation to donor conception...
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Did she get her curls from the mum?

Society’s focus on family resemblances

Society tends to focus on appearances when it comes to family. Naturally we are drawn to search for similarities, especially...
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Society’s focus on family resemblances

Facing fears relating to donor conception

Many on Instagram have engaged with my posts about fears - thank you for confirming that I'm not alone! These...
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Facing fears relating to donor conception

Finding out we’d need to use a donor

I still remember exactly where I was, what the weather was like, even what I was wearing when I first...
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Finding out we’d need to use a donor

Do I Regret Not Trying Again With My Own Eggs?

Regret - Feeling sad, repentant or disappointed over something one has done or failed to do. I’m asked often if...
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Do I Regret Not Trying Again With My Own Eggs?

Redefining my vision of a Mum…

It wasn’t a simple choice based on odds alone, it was a complex emotional decision that took time. I realise...
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Redefining my vision of a Mum…

Recognising the odds were stacked against us…

Throughout our infertility journey I was completely emotion-led, to the point where all rational thinking went out of the window....
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Recognising the odds were stacked against us…

How did I know when it was time to use a donor?

This is probably the most common question I get asked and definitely the most difficult to answer! It’s a complex...
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How did I know when it was time to use a donor?

Epigenetics

I’m by no means a scientific person, I’m much more interested and motivated by the ‘fluffy stuff’ – feelings and...
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Epigenetics

Mummy Rabbit

This is ‘Mummy Rabbit’ – Mila’s favourite thing in the world, she goes everywhere with her, sleeps with her and...
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Mummy Rabbit

My Story Chapter 5 – Testing My Resolve

After embryo transfer the wait to find out whether it had worked was torture, it was all I could think...
Read More
My Story Chapter 5 – Testing My Resolve

My Story Chapter 4 – IVF… Cycling Without Stabilisers

The arrival of the drugs along with the associated needles, syringes, vial snappers and sharps bins was particularly overwhelming. The...
Read More
My Story Chapter 4 – IVF… Cycling Without Stabilisers

My Story Chapter 3 – Exciting New Starts (Whilst Avoiding False Starts)

It happened so quickly, I didn’t have a second to think about what lay ahead. Yes, a slightly alternate method...
Read More
My Story Chapter 3 – Exciting New Starts (Whilst Avoiding False Starts)

My Story Chapter 1 – Expecting to be expecting…

Call me naïve, but at the age of 27 I felt like I was in the prime position to start...
Read More
My Story Chapter 1 – Expecting to be expecting…

My Story Chapter 2 – Niggles, Negatives and Negligence…

It started as a little niggle. Something just wasn’t quite right. My periods were irregular whilst at the same time...
Read More
My Story Chapter 2 – Niggles, Negatives and Negligence…

All General Fertility Blog Posts

All Donor Conception Blog Posts


 
 
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