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Allie’s Story: What I wish I’d known about using a known egg donor

What I wish I’d known about using a known egg donor Looking back, the darkest part of our whole infertility ‘journey’* was not when I received my diagnosis of premature ovarian failure. Nor was it when I only grew a single egg during our first IVF cycle, which...

Olivia’s Story – Why I donated my eggs

I am so lucky to be a mum, an egg donor and now an advocate for the most precious gift you can give. So here it is, my story about how I discovered egg donation and the amazing path it set me on. I had just had my first baby boy when a neighbour from down the road had...

Talking to your child about donor conception

Talking to your child about donor conception can feel both daunting and emotional. Over the past 18 months through my DefiningMum Instagram platform I’ve shared a number of moments from our own parenting-after-donor-conception journey; some planned and some...

Early Menopause and Me…

As it's #WorldMenopauseDay today I thought it would be the perfect time to open up more about my experience as a 34 year-old, infertile, menopausal, mum of three (I know there's so much more to me than that, but this description describes my complex situation well)!...

Discovering Donation – Free Webinar

I'm delighted to announce my third webinar in collaboration with Altrui Egg Donation and Apricity. 'Discovering Donation' is an evolution of our hugely successful webinar back in May, introducing a range of perspectives from the donor conception world to explore both...

To tell or not to tell? The school years begin…

It feels like we're approaching a significant change in childhood stages as Mila starts school in just a few weeks time. As I'm sure most parents are, I'm particularly apprehensive and emotional about it all, although I'm trying to hide my emotions as best I can so...

What Not to Say to Someone Using a Donor

There’s been much-needed talk about what not to say to someone facing infertility, but what about donor conception? Inspired by the amazing Alice Rose and her 'Think, What Not to Say" campaign about fertility, I wanted to provide some similar advice in the context of...

Dear Loved One…

If you’re reading this blog post as someone wishing to support a loved one who is (or has) needed to use a donor to grow their family – thank you. Thank you for taking the time to better understand and support them in this huge decision, one that will require love,...

Deciding to use an egg donor – the male perspective

I've been asked many times about how my husband, Matt, felt about the decision to use an egg donor and how he himself came around to the idea. Not being in a position to answer this myself and not wanting to speak on his behalf, I asked whether he would be happy to...

Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception

Mila and I finally had the opportunity to read our new book Happy Together Childrens Book - a story about egg donation, kindly gifted to my girls. I actually started talking to her occasionally as a baby, holding her in my arms in the middle of the night. For me this...
One Step at a Time

One Step at a Time

Guest Blog - By Lilly Ibiza 2016. My husband and I were there for a week having decided the party capital of the world was the best change of scene from three years of trying for a baby and two...

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Anonymity reflections…

Anonymity reflections…

This blog post has been on my mind for a while now, almost a year in fact. For those who didn’t follow me a year ago, I posted about the decision within our story which involved us using an...

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Do I ever wonder ‘what if’?

Do I ever wonder ‘what if’?

I've been thinking about this post for a while, trying to put it into words. I've been asked many times if I ever look back & wonder "what if" or have any regrets about stopping IVF treatment...

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Unexpected questions

Unexpected questions

As you know, we'll always be open with the girls about their conception - they'll never know any different. It's only now that Mila is three and a complete chatterbox, that we can actually talk...

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Conception Gratitude

Conception Gratitude

Jana Rupnow has, yet again, sparked realisation in me! This relates to Jana’s post on ‘Conception Gratitude’. It’s something I want to share and bring to life from the viewpoint of the parent. Jana...

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Defining Motherhood

Defining Motherhood

Recently I’ve been talking about how I came to make the decision to use donor eggs. I realised that the biggest step-change in my decision-making happened when I asked myself a simple question –...

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Holding two places

Holding two places

I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, especially since Jana Rupnow and I talked about it in a recent episode of Three Makes Baby podcast - click here to listen. It was another...

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Likeness to Daddy

Likeness to Daddy

This picture popped up on my memories today from 3 years ago. Mila at almost 6 months old (those chubby cheeks 🥰) and Matt at a similar age. They're the same baby, right?! I still can't believe how...

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The significance of small-talk

The significance of small-talk

As I've been busy planning my DefiningMum event (announcement coming soon!) I've been thinking a lot about the different fears and challenges that we inevitably face as parents who don't share...

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“Just like Mummy”

“Just like Mummy”

I plan to be very open with Mila, Eska and Lena about how they were conceived using an egg donor. We don't share genetics but despite this, we are still very similar in so many ways - all because of...

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Did she get her curls from the mum?

Did she get her curls from the mum?

“Did she get her curls from the Mum?” Ouch. This is one comment I’ve had in relation to donor conception that really hit a nerve. It’s actually been said twice, once to Matt from someone I’ve never...

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