My Blog

Olivia’s Story – Why I donated my eggs

I am so lucky to be a mum, an egg donor and now an advocate for the most precious gift you can give. So here it is, my story about how I discovered egg donation and the amazing path it set me on. I had just had my first baby boy when a neighbour from down the road had...

Talking to your child about donor conception

Talking to your child about donor conception can feel both daunting and emotional. Over the past 18 months through my DefiningMum Instagram platform I’ve shared a number of moments from our own parenting-after-donor-conception journey; some planned and some...

Early Menopause and Me…

As it's #WorldMenopauseDay today I thought it would be the perfect time to open up more about my experience as a 34 year-old, infertile, menopausal, mum of three (I know there's so much more to me than that, but this description describes my complex situation well)!...

Discovering Donation – Free Webinar

I'm delighted to announce my third webinar in collaboration with Altrui Egg Donation and Apricity. 'Discovering Donation' is an evolution of our hugely successful webinar back in May, introducing a range of perspectives from the donor conception world to explore both...

To tell or not to tell? The school years begin…

It feels like we're approaching a significant change in childhood stages as Mila starts school in just a few weeks time. As I'm sure most parents are, I'm particularly apprehensive and emotional about it all, although I'm trying to hide my emotions as best I can so...

What Not to Say to Someone Using a Donor

There’s been much-needed talk about what not to say to someone facing infertility, but what about donor conception? Inspired by the amazing Alice Rose and her 'Think, What Not to Say" campaign about fertility, I wanted to provide some similar advice in the context of...

Dear Loved One…

If you’re reading this blog post as someone wishing to support a loved one who is (or has) needed to use a donor to grow their family – thank you. Thank you for taking the time to better understand and support them in this huge decision, one that will require love,...

Deciding to use an egg donor – the male perspective

I've been asked many times about how my husband, Matt, felt about the decision to use an egg donor and how he himself came around to the idea. Not being in a position to answer this myself and not wanting to speak on his behalf, I asked whether he would be happy to...

Happy Together Children’s Book – Telling Mila about her conception

Mila and I finally had the opportunity to read our new book Happy Together Childrens Book - a story about egg donation, kindly gifted to my girls. I actually started talking to her occasionally as a baby, holding her in my arms in the middle of the night. For me this...

Do I Regret Not Trying Again With My Own Eggs?

Regret - Feeling sad, repentant or disappointed over something one has done or failed to do. I’m asked often if I regret not trying again with my own eggs. I can honestly say that I don’t feel one ounce of sadness, repentance or disappointment about choosing to use...

The Vicious Cycle of Infertility – Feeling like a failure

by Defining Mum | Nov 27, 2018

I recently explored why I believe it’s good to talk about infertility, but this didn’t address the reasons why we’re afraid to talk about it in the first place. I want to thank to my lovely...

Why it’s good to talk about infertility

by Defining Mum | Nov 8, 2018

Hi, I’ve always been a big advocate of talking things through, whatever the issue. I was no different when it came to our infertility. They say, a problem shared is a problem halved. Well, in...

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I’m Becky, an incredibly grateful 34 year old donor egg IVF mum to three beautiful girls. I live in the UK with my husband Matt as well as Mila, aged 3 and twins Eska and Lena, aged 2.

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