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by Defining Mum | Feb 11, 2019 | 0 comments

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Infertility
Donor Conception
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I’m Becky, an incredibly grateful 34 year old donor egg IVF mum to three beautiful girls. I live in the UK with my husband Matt as well as Mila, aged 3 and twins Eska and Lena, aged 2.

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I have another wonderful takeover for you here on

I have another wonderful takeover for you here on my account tomorrow, one that involves both donor eggs and donor sperm. Karen's fertility journey led her to use double donation to enable her to build her family, something that isn't discussed as often and I'm so grateful to her for sharing.
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Karen is co-founder @fertilitycircle and is now mother to a gorgeous 2 year old conceived with the help of both donor eggs and sperm. She'll be taking over my stories in the morning to share her story of failed fertility treatments, multiple miscarriages, involving both male and female infertility.
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Karen is opening up to give people an insight into the challenges and emotions they faced as a heterosexual couple using double donors to build their family. She's sharing details of her journey in the hope it brings reassurance to anyone considering this route to parenthood and to show that it can be such a wonderful experience.
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I want to say a huge thank you for Karen for taking the time to share her experience and thoughts with you, whilst answering your questions. If you'd like to ask anything of Karen look out for the question box in my stories tomorrow as she takes over, or just comment below.
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I've had such positive feedback about the takeovers so far (which can be found in my highlights reel), I really hope you enjoy this one and the other two I'm yet to announce later this week!
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#donorconception #instatakeover #doubledonor #donoreggs #donorsperm #maleinfertility #femaleinfertility #infertilityjourney #infertilitysupport #ivfsupport #youarenotalone #hope #doubledonorsuccess #recipientparent #definingmum #fertilitycircle

I'm delighted to announce my third webinar in coll

I'm delighted to announce my third webinar in collaboration with @Altruieggdonor & @apricity.life. 'Discovering Donation' is an evolution of our hugely successful webinar back in May, introducing a range of perspectives from the donor conception world to explore both the emotional & practical side of making the decision. Our feedback from the event last time was fantastic (swipe right to read) so I hope many more of you can come along this time!
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‪On Tuesday 15th September we'll be hosting a virtual evening filled with supportive speakers, information, interactive Q&A & a giveaway on the night too (TBA soon!). Starting at 6pm you'll hear from:‬

▪️Yours truly, sharing my perspective as a mum thanks to donor egg IVF.

▪️Angela Pericleous-Smith, Counsellor & Chair of the British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA).

▪️An egg donor who has donated through Altrui.

▪️A donor conceived adult sharing her perspective.
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This time, after the main event, we are breaking out into smaller sessions to cover off some more specific topics, with sessions on:

▪️Finding a UK Donor with Altrui's Jane Holman.

▪️How treatment works for you & your donor with Apricity's Lucy Beaumont.

▪️Why I donate with an Altrui egg donor.

▪️Life after Donor Conception - talking about telling with myself & @HappyTogetherChildrensBook author (& fellow donor egg mum) Julie.
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To attend this FREE virtual event you can register through the eventbrite link in my bio.
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You will have the opportunity to ask questions of any of our speakers, with the evening being built around what you want to know. To submit a question you can comment below, send me a DM or respond to my question box in my stories tomorrow.
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Late post from me tonight, but an exciting one non

Late post from me tonight, but an exciting one nonetheless! My next takeover comes from another of my favourite accounts, someone I've come to know over the past year and had the pleasure chatting with just a couple of months ago!
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Tomorrow, Julie, author of @happytogetherchildrensbook will be sharing her journey to becoming a proud #DEIVFMama after 2 IVF cycles and a miscarriage with her own eggs. Through the gift of egg donation she welcomed the love of her life, her daughter. After becoming a mother, Julie went through early menopause and has been open about that journey as well. Her passion for helping other #infertilitywarriors has inspired her to become an infertility advocate and children's book author.
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It's been such a pleasure to connect with Julie, we share very similar desires and beliefs around parenting our children and I've been so grateful to have had her book to read to Mila as we've started on our journey of telling.
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Julie is based in the States and so will be taking over my account ‪from tomorrow afternoon‬ (UK Time) with the opportunity to ask her anything. Either comment below with your question or you can ask interactively in my stories when she begins her takeover.
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I want to say a huge thank you to Julie, I know your experience and wisdom will be so useful for others to hear!
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#instatakeover #donoreggs #deivf #deivfsuccess #deivfjourney #pof #earlymenopause #tellingthechild #donorconception #recipientparent #youarenotalone #hope

Mummy couldn't make you with her own eggs, but she

Mummy couldn't make you with her own eggs, but she made you with her heart.
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The whole infertility experience was heavy on my heart, having to grieve the loss of an old dream before opening my heart to a new one. One that has undoubtedly changed my life for the better and helped me redefine what it really means to be a mum.
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These words came to me this week as I chatted with Mila whilst putting her to bed. Occasionally, we spontaneously have little snippets of conversations about how she came to be, this time it was the only way I could put it into words. Our donor's generous gift of eggs, Matt's sperm, my body and both of our hearts open to what it could bring. Hearts that are now full because of them.
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I will never expect them to be grateful for it, but they will always know just how much they mean to me and how lucky I am to be their mum. Although I couldn't use my own eggs and they won't share my genetics, they will always have my grateful heart.
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#donoreggs #deivf #deivfmama #deivfsuccess #motherhoodunplugged #infertilityjourney #fertilityblog #donorconception #losetheshame #loveisntgeneticallyprogrammed #lovemakesafamily #definingmum #hope #youarenotalone #infertilitysucks #infertilitysisters

It's takeover time again! This week I have some br

It's takeover time again! This week I have some brilliant ladies talking to you about their experiences of using #donoreggs. Tomorrow I'll be welcoming one of the accounts I love to follow...
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Allie aka @thebunlessoven is a proud #DEIVF mom to a 1 year old girl. She spent 5+ years TTC, including 3 (own egg) IVF cycles, and three DEIVF transfers, before finally welcoming her miracle baby thanks to the amazing gift of eggs from a childhood friend. After suffering through years of devastating infertility, she's excited to share her story of hope and her wonderful experience of using a known egg donor.
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As before, please comment below with any questions or you can ask interactively as part of my stories when Allie takes over in the morning! Huge thanks to Allie for agreeing to share her story and answer questions with us all. It really does give so much hope to hear other people’s experiences!
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#instatakeover #donorconception #deivfmama #deivfsuccess #knowndonor #youarenotalone #recipientparent #hope #infertilityjourney #pof #ivfjourney #infertilitysucks #infertilityblog #fertilitysupport #definingmum

So much shame can be associated with infertility.

So much shame can be associated with infertility. The underlying feeling that we should be embarrassed in some way, that our struggle to conceive is somehow our fault or caused by something we've done (or not done).
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Where there's shame comes discomfort in talking about it, & when no-one feels comfortable to talk about it we can perceive that everyone else has it easy. Perceptions, particularly on social media, can be dangerous, even more-so when it comes to TTC. All we see is a well-timed snippet into someone else's life, assume we know the rest & compare it to our own life. In reality, with 1 in 6 couples facing infertility, when it comes to building a family this just simply isn't the case - I would bet my life on there being many more than you realise experiencing the exact same emotions.
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Trying to conceive is one of the most personal things you can do in life. No-one wants to have to talk about what are really intimate, personal details when letting people know you're actively trying to make a baby. The constant questions, assumptions & expectations surrounding us can all add to the intense feeling of failure. When trying to conceive doesn't go to plan, sharing that we need help, or that it might never happen can literally feel like baring your soul.
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I just wanted to share this to remind you that there is no reason you should feel shame, but it's also totally understandable if you do. What I want you to remember is that needing help to conceive isn't a reflection of weakness, or anything you've done wrong, it's treating a medical condition that you've been unfortunate enough to have to face. Know that you aren't alone in this, you needn't suffer in silence, you aren't broken, & you ARE deserving.
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So whether you need help through fertility treatment, donor conception, surrogacy, adoption or you're making the decision to stop trying - it is nothing to be ashamed of. You are facing one of life's greatest challenges in a world full of misunderstanding, plus a global pandemic thrown in for good measure! Be kind to yourself, find others who will say 'me too' & take comfort in knowing you're one of an incredible community of people.
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