We are all guilty of making assumptions, imagining that something is happening or going to happen without any proof whatsoever. We put two and two together to make five and believe a certain ‘reality’, especially if it is considered to be ‘the norm’.
I see this so often when it comes to fertility, where it is assumed that it is acceptable to comment on someone’s future family prospects, without any knowledge of what might really be going on behind closed doors. This assumed wisdom can make situations awkward, placing added pressure on someone who may be struggling to conceive. When an assumption is wrong the individual may then feel the need to either agree (by lying) or to correct whatever the assumption has actually got wrong.
When it comes to fertility or family situations, maybe just take a moment to think…don’t assume. Perhaps there is a different story to what you assume – one that you don’t know about.
You don’t choose infertility. By making assumptions about something so very personal it may suggest that they have actively made a choice – to put a career above having children for example. It may potentially put them in an unwanted situation where they have to uncomfortably lie and go along with the assumption. This avoids them having to explain a situation that they may prefer to keep to themselves or share in their own time and way. When it comes to discussing starting a family, only the individual can lead this conversation. If they want to talk about it they may feel more comfortable to do so if assumptions haven’t already been made.
Remember, behind closed doors, things may not always be quite as they seem.
Here are just a few that spring to mind – please share any more that you have with me!